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Probably, this is the most relatable topic I’m going to talk about in this newsletter.

We are more connected than any generation before us. We can message someone across the world in seconds. We can join communities built around any interest imaginable. We can see into the daily lives of hundreds of people with a simple scroll.

Yet, we are alone.

Loneliness has become one of the defining challenges of our time. It is a social pattern that is reshaping how we live, work, and relate to one another.

Loneliness is not the same as being alone. Solitude can be peaceful and even necessary. Loneliness is the gap between the connection we want and the connection we actually experience.

A person can be surrounded by coworkers, classmates, or even friends and still feel alone. Nowadays, our conversations are surface-level and relationships lack depth, so the emotional need for belonging is not being met.

Several forces are driving this shift. Let me talk about them one by one.

Digital substitution for actual interaction

Online communication is fast and convenient. But text messages replace long conversations. Digital reactions are not the same as eye contact, shared laughter, or physical presence. Which is a must for us.

Busyness as a lifestyle

Everyone is busy nowadays, it’s not like they are working, it’s all about showing they are busy. Modern culture rewards productivity. People move cities for work, change jobs frequently, and pack their schedules with commitments. But if you want to establish deep relationships, you need to invest time. Everything has become shallow nowadays.

Individualism over community

Nowadays, so-called societies celebrate independence and self-sufficiency, but this is weakening the community bonds. Asking for help or admitting loneliness is often seen as weakness, which makes me feel sad that our ancestors lived and how we’re living.

When loneliness becomes chronic, it changes how the body and mind function. Human beings evolved as social creatures whose survival depended on belonging to a group. For most of history, isolation was dangerous. Because of that, our nervous systems still interpret prolonged social disconnection as a threat.

Research over the past two decades has shown that chronic loneliness is associated with elevated levels of cortisol, the body’s primary stress hormone.

Over time, consistently high stress levels can contribute to sleep disturbances, weakened immune response, and increased inflammation. A widely cited meta-analysis published in the journal Perspectives on Psychological Science found that persistent loneliness increases the risk of premature mortality by roughly 26 percent, a risk comparable to well-known health factors such as obesity.

The psychological effects are equally significant. Studies from researchers such as John Cacioppo at the University of Chicago suggest that loneliness can alter social perception. When people feel disconnected for extended periods, they become more sensitive to potential signs of rejection. Neutral interactions may be interpreted as negative. Over time, this heightened vigilance creates a self-reinforcing cycle. The more someone anticipates rejection, the more guarded or withdrawn they may become, which in turn reduces opportunities for positive connection.

There is also a cognitive cost. Chronic loneliness has been linked to increased rumination and reduced executive functioning, which affects concentration, problem-solving, and decision-making. Emotional energy becomes absorbed by questions of belonging and self-worth, leaving less bandwidth for creativity and long-term thinking. Some longitudinal studies have even suggested a connection between sustained loneliness and a higher risk of cognitive decline later in life.

According to surveys conducted in the United States and parts of Europe in recent years, roughly one in three adults reports feeling lonely frequently or most of the time. Among young adults, the numbers are often higher. In the United Kingdom, the government appointed a Minister for Loneliness after recognising the widespread social and economic consequences of isolation. It is a public health concern.

For many people, loneliness carries an unspoken stigma. We can admit we are stressed. We can admit we are tired. We can even admit we are overwhelmed. But saying ‘I feel lonely’ feels like confessing a personal failure, as though it reveals something undesirable about who we are.

Thank you. I hope this shook you a little, challenged you a little, and helped you begin to heal. I truly appreciate your time

See you!

— Anirban

Things no one taught us about love by Vex King. I got this book as a gift. It’s not about teaching you how to love your partner, it’s about how love works and everything we don’t know about love.

Octopuses have three hearts, and two of them stop beating when they swim. Crazy, isn’t it?